šNotice of Appearance: Treasury Secretary Scott Bessentš
We discuss ... stuff.
For our first a$$-kicking April edition ā which juuuuuuust happens to fall on April 1, š, we welcome our very first Notice of Appearance by someone serving in the United States government, Treasury Secretary, Scott Bessent. Thereās a ton of ground to cover here, so letās dive right into it š.
PETITION: Welcome Secretary Bessent and thanks for doing this with us. We had no idea you were a PETITION fan. How long have you been a subscriber?
Secretary Bessent: Subscriber? People pay for this rag? I have a friend who forwards it to me a couple of times a week.
PETITION: Secretary Bessent, that would be a violation of our Terms of Service.
Secretary Bessent: Really? Take it up with my boss. He hates when people donāt pay for sh*t.
PETITION: But seriously, what got you reading PETITION? Were you ever involved in vulture investing during your trading days?
Secretary Bessent: Mostly, I read PETITION ā whatās with the all caps all the time, by the way ā to stay up to date with the hip lingo of our youth so I can be more relatable to my two teenage kids. Without Petition ā¦ uh PETITION ... Iād have no idea what looksmaxxing was (apparently, I am an adherent without knowing it) or what a choad is, or what sleazy AF meant. My emoji literacy has gone through the roof. And all the cussing or near-cussing with that clever symbol-for-letter substitution! Itās enough to make a refined Southern gentleman blush. I didnāt think a lawyerly crowd enjoyed getting down in the gutter like that. No white-shoe lawyer from Charleston ever spoke or wrote that way. BTW, who the f*ck is Johnny exactly? Gosh darn it, you degenerates are really rubbing off on me.
PETITION: Never mind Johnny, Secretary, heās just our resident dumba$$. So youāre not familiar with distressed investing, bankruptcy and corporate restructuring?
Secretary Bessent: Ah, ok, I work with several Johnny types. Does Johnny also have a āDeus Vultā tattoo?
Anyway, of course I am and so is President Trump. The U.S. bankruptcy code favors a debtorās rehabilitation while allowing business executives and professionals to enrich themselves in the process. Thereās nothing more American than that. The President and I also are big believers in second chances, which is why he has pardoned so many convicted white collar criminals. In most instances, their ambition got the better of them, but ambition shouldnāt die in a prison cell. Americans love a good comeback story, and weāre helping write those scripts.
PETITION: So Trevor Milton deserved a pardon after defrauding Nikola investors and driving Nikola into bankruptcy?
Secretary Bessent: Speaking of comeback stories! Mr. Milton told a few tall tales, what of it? Itās called fake it till you make it, and it is a cornerstone of career advancement in Corporate America. Everyone stretches the truth to seal a deal. Exaggeration shouldnāt be a crime. Now heās a CEO again, which is proof that rehabilitating corporate wrongdoers is better than punishing them behind bars for years.
PETITION: Speaking of CEOs who avoided bars (despite incinerating billions of dollars of investment and driving his company, WeWork, into bankruptcy), we suppose youāre a big Adam Neumann stan then?
Secretary Bessent: How can you not be? Check this comeback story out š.
PETITION: Will President Trump pardon Sam Bankman-Fried?
Secretary Bessent: Thatās a tough call given all the publicity around that case and the political backlash a pardon might cause. But SBF was a big believer in effective altruism, which meant his motives were pure and he likely would have given away his billions had he not been convicted. He also was, as your dumba$$ Johnny has pointed out, a phenomenal investor.
Those factors certainly work in his favor. The world needs more philanthropists and a$$-kicking investors. It could be a last minute āout the doorā pardon in January 2029.
PETITION: Uh, ok. Switching gears, how are you liking DC?
Secretary Bessent: DC is fine but, as you know, itās not the most politically welcoming place. Donāt tell anyone, but President Trump is lowkey thinking of moving the nationās capital to a more favorable venue. How do you feel about New Jersey?
PETITION: What. The. Actual ā¦ anyway, switching gears yet again ā this time to economics ā youāve indicated that your goal is to make all Americans rich. How do you plan to do that?
Secretary Bessent: Weāre going to encourage everyone to become restructuring attorneys.
PETITION: Thatās it? Thatās the plan?
Secretary Bessent: Pretty good, right?
PETITION: You realize that RX is a very small industry ā¦ ?
Secretary Bessent: Didnāt seem that way at E11even a few weeks back. In any event, with tariffs, Iran, the golden age of fraud, and private credit imploding, looks like there could be a lot of room for growth. And the comp packages are rising to a levels that have my hedge fund buddies questioning life choices.
PETITION: Ooook. Glad you mentioned Iran. Are you concerned that the war in Iran will derail the domestic economy?
Secretary Bessent: There is no war in Iran. These are targeted military strikes.
PETITION: But weāve hit thousands of targets and killed many hundreds of Iranians. How can you say itās not a war? If the situation were reversed and a country bombed our military installations here, wouldnāt you say that was an act of war?
Secretary Bessent: No boots on the ground, no war.
PETITION: What if we dropped tactical nukes on Iranian bomb and missile factories? Would that make it a war?
Secretary Bessent: No boots, no war.
PETITION: What if eventually we sent in peacekeepers to help with a transition of power and prevent civil unrest?
Secretary Bessent: Now that would be war.
PETITION: On the topic of āwar,ā are you familiar with liability management?
Secretary Bessent: If thatās a reference to the nationās national debt ā¦ then, decidedly no.
PETITION: Oooook. Not getting much here. Another area that has been getting a lot of attention in RX circles is crypto. Is President Trump really as pro-crypto as he seems?
Secretary Bessent: He is, but only when Eric and Don Jr. make billions from pumping it.
PETITION: Alright, time to wrap this up. We often ask our NOA guests to name their favorite long/short. Care to share?
Secretary Bessent: Thatās too easy. Long defense stocks, short airlines. Long Cuban cigars and sugar cane, short Las Vegas. Long the NFL, short MLB. Long Paramount Skydance and Newsmax, short Versant Media. Long Bibi ā heās like Beric Dondarrion ā and short anyone with the name Khamenei.
Petition: Thanks ā¦ we guess ā¦ for your time, Secretary Bessent.
ā”ļøAnnouncementā”ļø
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š¤ Noticeš¤
Aaron Stulman, Steve McNeill, Maria Kotsiras, Sarah Gladieux and Andrew Ehrmann joined Christopher Samis at Ice Miller LLP from Potter Anderson & Corroon LLP.
Andrew Matott (Senior Associate) joined Kelley Drye & Warren LLP from Seward & Kissel LLP.
Brian Schartz (Partner) joined Simpson Thacher from Kirkland & Ellis LLP.
Chris Ward (Office Managing Partner) joined Lowenstein Sandler LLP from Polsinelli LLP.
David Karp (Partner & Co-Head of Special Situations & Alternative Investment Practice) joined Polsinelli LLP from McDermott Will & Schulte LLP.
Jack Luze (Partner) joined Simpson Thacher from Kirkland & Ellis LLP.
š¾Congratulations toā¦š¾
The following folks at FTI Consulting Inc. on their promotions:
Christopher Goff and Ben Kraszyk on becoming Senior Managing Director.
McKay Jacobson, Jonathan Joffe, Tim Pettey, Jill Shapiro and Chris Van Praag on becoming Managing Director.
Clay Cavallo, Kyle Dans, Rich Halevy, Jack Hinman, Zack Israel, Scott Johnson, Alex Kicklighter, Avi Lalvani, Claire Langenhorst, Hailey Liu, Jordan Ouellet-Arijon, Vivek Ram, Jesse Salomons, and Jorge Torres on becoming Senior Director.
Calvin Aas, Jen Paul Balzac, Andrew Bland, Ben Blewitt, Jonathan Bresler, Jonathan Calcagne, Mackenzie Davis, Conor Gaskin, Ashley Kopser, Ivan Kurkulin, Zander Kurowski, Jaime Roth, Sydney Shaw, Grace Shiau, and Carter Wood on becoming Director.
š„X of the Weekš„
šResourcesš
We have compiled a list of a$$-kicking resources on the topics of restructuring, tech, finance, investing, and disruption. š„You can find it hereš„.