💥Shade of the Week— “We Believe Real Models Will Become Wildly Popular in the Post WeWork Era”💥

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Restoration Hardware Inc. ($RH) reported earnings this week and blew it out of the water in every possible way. Not all retail is a hot mess, apparently. When you crush it like they did — 6+% revenue increase and doubled profits — we suppose that gives you some license to sh*t on LITERALLY EVERYONE UNDER THE SUN. This is savage:

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DAAAAAAAAAMMMMN. DTC DNVBS and standard brick-and-mortar retailers just got run over by the Restoration Hardware bus. And rightfully so:

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⚡️Earnings Season Ushers in More Bad News for Retail⚡️

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In “Thanos Snaps, Retail Disappears👿,“ “Even Captain America Can’t Bring Back This Much Retail (Long Continued Closures)“ and “💸The #Retailapocalypse is a Boon for...💸,” we’ve chronicled the seemingly endless volume of retail store closures that continue to persist in the first half of 2019. As we’ve said time and time again, there are no signs of this trend disappearing. In fact, it continues to get worse.

Last week brought us a deluge of retail news and earnings. And, indeed, along with earnings came more store closure announcements and more indications of who are the “haves”* and the “have nots.”

Let’s start with department stores where there’s a lot of pain to go around in “have not”-ville.

Macy’s ($M) kicked things off with a surprise increase in same-store sales and so it was ONLY down approximately 0.9% on the week. In contrast, Kohl’s ($KSS), Dillard’s ($DDS), J.C. Penney ($JCP) and Nordstrom ($NWN) all got hammered — each down more than 7% — after across-the-board dismal earnings. Kohl’s performance was particularly interesting given its acclaimed experimentation, including partnerships with Amazon ($AMZN) and, coming soon, Fanatics. The company reported a 2.9% revenue decline and a same-store comp decline of 3.4%. Adding fuel to the fire: the company cut its full-year earnings guidance, citing…wait for it…tariffs(!) as a massive headwind.

Kohl’s wasn’t alone there. Home Depot ($HD) also indicated that new tariffs on China might cost it $1b in revenue — on top of the $1b it already anticipated from the prior round of tariffs. 😬

Other have nots in retail? Party City ($PRTY) is closing 45 stores. Tuesday Morning Corp. ($TUES) is closing a net 12 stores. Fred’s ($FRED) announced 104 more closures in addition to the 159 previously announced closures. Burberry Group Plc ($BURBY) is closing 38 stores. Topshop is now bankrupt and will close 11 stores in the US (and more abroad). Hibbett Sports ($HIBB) is adding 95 store closures to the pile (despite otherwise nice results). Of course, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention the dumpster fire that is Dressbarn:

Finally, all of the pain in retail already has at least one ratings agency questioning whether David’s Bridal is out of the woods post-bankruptcy. We can’t wait to add that one to our “Do We have a Feasibility Problem?” series.

All of this has people scattered wondering what’s the next shoe to drop (more tariffs!) and, in turn, what can possibly stop the bleeding? Here is a piece discussing how private brands are on fire.

Here is to hoping that Generation Z saves malls. What draws them to malls? Good food. Malls with great food options apparently experience more sales. Now Neiman Marcus and H&M are going the resale route. Urban Outfitters ($URBN) is experimenting with a monthly rental service. Startups like Joymode look to benefit from the alleged shift from ownership to “access.”

As for continued bleeding, here is yet another sign that things may continue to worsen for retail:

Notably, production of containerboard — a type of paperboard specially manufactured for the production of corrugated board (or cardboard) — is suffering a YOY production decline. Is that indicative of a dip in e-commerce sales to boot? 😬

*On the flip side, there have been some clear winning “haves.” Take, TJX Companies Inc. ($TJX), for instance. The owner of T.J. Maxx reported a 5% increase in same store sales. Target Inc. ($TGT) and Walmart Inc. ($WMT) also appear to be holding their own. The former’s stock had a meaningful pop this week on solid earnings.

Professional-Services.ai

Short junior attorneys...the machines are coming for them. And, frankly, why shouldn't they come for attorneys at ALL levels? After all, are there situations where there is "overzealous advocacy and hyperactive legal efforts"? When there are "so many attorneys and their respective billings"? "When the hourly rates and amount of time billed are simply unreasonable"? "Staggering," in fact?  Suffice it to say, you won't see Weil filing any cases in Southern District of Iowa anytime soon (see below). Frankly, "overzealous advocacy and hyperactive legal efforts" seems like it could have just as easily applied to the pissing contest that was the equitable subordination claim in Aeropostale but who are we to judge a grudge match between Weil and Kirkland & Ellis (which the the latter convincingly won)? We were too busy popping popcorn and putting our feet up. Switching gears and looking elsewhere in changing labor markets, here's to wondering: is the "gig economy" working? And what becomes of those 89,000 lost retail jobs?

Speaking of retail jobs, it looks like the bankers have all of them. Now there's M&A noise around Neiman Marcus, which is heating up with Hudson's Bay sniffing around hard but trying to avoid assumption of Neiman's substantial debt-load. Meanwhile Nine West Holdings has hired Lazard to figure out its capital structure. Elsewhere in retail, Macy's ($M), Kohl's ($KSS), Nordstrom ($JWN) and J.C. Penney ($JCP) all reported earnings that looked like a dumpster fire and the stocks promptly got decimated. We're sure the bankers are salivating. And speaking of retailers with jacked-up debt (and bankers), GNC Holdings Inc. and its agent bankers JPMorgan reportedly attempted but ultimately failed to extend GNC's $1.13b loan by three years. Now GNC says it will use its "strong" free cash flow to fund ops and deal with its '18 maturity. This is an interesting story on many levels. First, there have been a TON of share buybacks in recent years (the public equivalent of a dividend recap - our favorite) and so it was only a matter of time before one of them bit an uncreative and misled -- uh, we mean, generous shareholder-minded - management team in the bum. Second, the "Amazon-effect" apparently applies to meatheads too with vitamin sales allegedly shifting online. Who knew Biff could function in an m-commerce world? Go Biff. Third, despite a variety of downward trending financials, GNC's loan is still trading at a tick below par and so the proposed transaction might have affected the lenders' yield metrics (hence the rejection). Which gets us to #4: with crappy loans like GNC's ticking up so far upward, most distressed players can't stop complaining about a dearth of opportunities to target: everything is priced to perfection. Sadly, everyone needs the yield wherever they can get it hoping (praying?) that when the going gets rough, they'll be the first to hit eject. No, no (rate-fueled) bubble to see here.